Roleplaying

Morning Sunrise!

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photo by Casey Keal

photo by Casey Keal

I can’t think of a more beautiful reminder of a new day, new hope and new beginning than the sunrise each morning.  If you haven’t witnessed the sun coming up recently, then take the time to do so, you won’t regret it. 

There is just something magically reassuring to see the darkness gradually give way to the approaching light.  Then all of a sudden the sun will break over the horizon and light up the sky with rays of color that spread until the darkness has to flee before it.

 I am so thankful for sunrises, though the night might seem long, cold and bleak, the sun brings warmth and clarity.  Things that were hidden in the dark are made known in the light.  So it is that when life seems dark and hopeless we can remember that the sun will soon shine again if we just hold on, just wait a little longer, we will be rewarded with a brighter day.

Cherry Coley (c)

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In the Spirit of Thankfulness

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Don’t give your strength and focus to the things that you want to be rid of in your life.

I confess to falling into this rut from time to time, but I have definitely gotten better about not allowing myself to follow down the self-sabotaging road.  When you dwell on something, play it over and over in your mind, look at it from every angle, and even role play what you will say and how you will react, make sure it’s something good.  Otherwise, you are setting yourself up to manifest the very thing you keep dwelling on. 

 If you find yourself thinking about losing your job, and worrying about getting fired, are you really going to be concentrating on doing the best you can or are you focusing on being met at the door? 

 Instead center your heart and mind on where you want to go.  Greet each day in the spirit of gratefulness for the people in your life, the things you enjoy and the opportunities that are going to present themselves to you today.

 When you train your brain and your heart to be grateful and aware, you will be surprised at the things you will start to notice and the people who will come into your life.  Then take a moment at the end of the day to be thankful.

 A day that begins with being grateful and ends being thankful can’t go wrong because you’re already in the right mindset.

 Cherry Coley ©

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Life is about Choices

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Life is about choices.  Oh, I know we’ve all heard that before and we all know it’s true; the question is how true is it?

I have had to battle the demons from my past the last few days.  Those memories that haunt and an attitude that wants to settle around me like a dark cloud and seep into my skin to become a part of me again. 

A close friend of mine told me that I should stop writing positive drivel and write about a lot of the crap that I’ve experienced along the way.  I told him that no one would believe all the stuff I’ve been through, not that it didn’t happen, but that there is so much of it.  Truly, most people experience one or two major mishaps in life if they are unlucky enough, but I’ve had so many that even I sit and shake my head in wonder at why I am still here at times.

He also told me that I have a great talent for description and that if I have something to say then just say it.  Well, okay, but I will do it my way, not yours. 

For the last few days and especially last night, the darkness tried really hard to reassert its self and last night I went to bed feeling like I was losing the battle, that I had failed and should just write everything that happened, reliving it all in vivid detail as I did.  I had nightmares all night.

The thing is, while I was experiencing living with an abusive, narcissistic, sociopath and that was after being in a rather odd relationship with another one previously, I had become a ghost like reflection of who I once was.  In those years I was just a shell of a person functioning on the outside, putting up a good front so that things would seem normal to those who looked on. 

I still had a positive attitude even then, though I struggled with it and it was only surface deep.  I still believed in better days and that the sun would shine.  

In talking to my friend something defensive in me woke up.  It wasn’t a whimpering, sad shadow either.  He kept asking me how I could be so positive after so much.  My unwavering answer is because NO ONE CONTROLS ME!  No one controls my attitude and my outlook except ME! 

Whatever the world and life throws your way, you CAN come out stronger, better, but it’s a choice.  You have the power to CHOOSE how you apply the events and mishaps in your life.  You can learn from them and become stronger, or you can let them take you down, dwelling on them, feeling anger, revenge, helplessness, and relive them over and over.  I choose to learn, to get up and to keep going.  I choose to believe there’s more that life has to teach and offer.

I don’t just think the sun will shine again and that better days will eventually be here….I KNOW. 

For me, it’s no longer faith as much as it’s experience.  When you’re up against that cliff and there’s nothing to do but to step off the ledge, you can be sure that God is going to catch you, or teach you to fly.  The thing is that in order to go forward, you do have to move, faith is grown by action, not waiting and life is about choices.

Cherry Coley (c)

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Getting Here From There, and There From Here

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Time management is supposed to be key to reaching your goals. Time management is the self discipline that will get you to where you want to be, along with a positive attitude of course.

There’s something to be said for major life changes.  Whether it’s getting a divorce, losing a loved one, moving, getting married, losing a job, a life changing injury, or addiction, they are called life changes for a reason.  For some reason I guess I thought I would be immune? Or maybe I thought I could just zoom past parts and pieces of it all.  Not! 

The truth is, sometimes I have a heck of a time adjusting.  Time management and I don’t always get along well.  Now and then I get out of sync somehow it all just knocks me completely out of the water and I feel lost until I can sit down, regroup and get back on track. 

As time management requires, I will set goals, create a “to do list,” create a calendar, prioritize and get everything going along really well, have a great week, then something will throw a spoke in my wheels and I am suddenly flying over the handle bars, and wind up lying on the ground and wondering what just happened.  For the record, I hate that!

What really bothers me is that for as long as I can remember I have lived a high-stress life.  I had for as long as I can remember, been running back and forth to do things for or with my parents, running to do things for or with my kids or friends, working one or two or sometimes three jobs at a time because to be constantly busy made me feel wanted, needed, productive and accepted.   IF there was any time or resources left, then I might do something for myself along the way, or spend time on something that interested me.

Now I am in unknown territory.  Here I am at a time in my life where I somehow seem to keep trying to get my momentum back and it’s not that it’s not there; it’s that it’s no longer necessary.  That is a very unnerving thing and I find myself feeling at odds and off kilter instead of wanted and needed.  Nightmare of searching through fog, looking for people or items that aren’t there.

So I rework my schedule, and redo lists, and still I wind up taking on too many things at a time, because I’m used to high-stress and being busy.  Then when something doesn’t work out, I basically trip, fall down on my face, then look around to find a tiny piece of nothing that knocked me not only off schedule, but completely out of sync.  It takes me a few days to get back in a rhythm of doing things again.

Here’s the thing, life changes are just that – life changes.  In my case, in the last two-three years, I lost an aunt, an uncle, a good friend – or two, my mom, my dad, moved twice and lost a job.  I have finally come to the conclusion that my comfort zones and old way of time management and project management just got blown away in the wind because no matter how hard I try, the old way of doing things, just isn’t working anymore.

I am now required to learn to do some things I’ve never really done, take more time for myself, personally relax, and get healthier, but at a slower pace. 

So, I will begin again, and try new things, set new habits, find out where my new comfort zones are, try to find a place to retreat and feel safe when chaos reigns, and learn to be a better surfer on this ocean of life.  I have a feeling this could take a while, a lifetime perhaps.  

Cherry Coley ©

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