Relationships

Challenge Accepted

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It’s been a long while since I took to the written page to share.  It’s way passed time.  I lost both of my parents in 2011, and my world was turned upside down.  Sunset Aug 2019

It took a long while to adjust to the changes that come from being basically alone and truly owning that I am responsible for my own path and every decision that is made.  Growing up I ran decisions by my parents for input and wisdom.  You don’t realize how much you depend on that, until they are gone and that option is no longer available.

Now, 8 years later, I can say that I have come to terms with life and decisions being in my hands.  God is my guide.  My brother and his wife, my kids and my friends are my family.  The future is up to me and what I put into it.  Life up until now has been challenging.  To say that it was a bumpy ride, is like saying the Grand Canyon is a big pothole.   Yet, the sun rises, every day.  Each day is a gift and I take a moment each morning and evening to be grateful to still be here.  I am currently living by the grace of God and the kindness of friends.  I have lost almost everything as far as material possessions.  I must start completely over.  Yet this is exactly where I belong and where I need to be.  The sun is rising.  Opportunity is there and waiting and I am ready.  My mind is open to the new direction before me.

So, if you too are struggling and feeling overwhelmed.  Pray for insight and guidance.  Be prepared for the answers you receive may not be what you expected or even considered, but that is how God and the universe works.  You cannot always choose what happens to you, but you can control your attitude and your response.  Life offers opportunities and lessons, don’t miss them by letting your attitude and busy life get in the way.

The sun will rise again.  The darkness will lift and your path will once again become clear.  Hang on.  Just hang on and pay attention.

Cherry Coley (c)

 

Save One

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I love animals.  My daughters and I used to volunteer with Kittico Cat Rescue to help cats find homes.  At any given time it seems there’s a surplus of animals and not enough homes to go around.  It makes me sad.

My dad was a big animal lover.  I guess I get my love of animals from him.  I brought home cats and there was the occasional dog that would follow me home growing up.  He didn’t turn them away, though he probably should have.  He wound up feeding a lot of stray cats in the neighborhood.  It was an expensive chore, but I loved him for it.

pic by Cherry

pic by Cherry

Back in May I stopped and picked up a puppy that was trotting along on a busy street in our neighborhood.  I couldn’t let it go, he was so pretty and by himself.  I didn’t want to see him get ran over.  So, I picked up the little guy and brought him home.  He is a husky – great Pyrenees mix.  He looked tired and hungry.

We named him Scout though I have often thought I should have named him Forrest because he reminds me of Forrest Gump.  He is a big baby that thrives on gentle love.  He hates to get in trouble and doesn’t respond well to harsh discipline.

He has sky blue eyes, but his left eye is brown on top and blue on the bottom.  Scout howls now and then and even says a few mumbled words.    He has grown into quiet a character and a wonderful addition to our family.  I am glad no one ever claimed him.

Through the years I have loved on many pets and only actually paid for one dog for my daughter.  Other than that they have been the cast offs and strays that I have found along the way.  Cats, dogs, one bird, and once a few hamsters.  Animals are simple creatures to figure out.  They need love, food, water and protection.

Here is a picture of Scout now at approximately a year old.  IMG_2143[1]He’s a great big boy at 85 pounds.

I used to have the same philosophy with people.  I thought people were generally good at heart, circumstances and events happen that sometimes change them over time.  I thought it was my role to help and save them.   People and animals must want to be saved in order to be helped.  You cannot force an animal to trust you.  If they have been hurt or abused, trust will take time and patience and there’s the real possibility that you will never be fully trusted and will be permanently kept at a distance though tolerated.

People are the same way, if they have had bad life experiences, others that have betrayed their trust, hurt or abused them, then trust is proven and grown over time with the real possibility that you may never get as close as you wish.

The important thing to remember is we each have opportunities that are specific to us and our environment.  You can think about someone you know and tell yourself that “someone” should help them, but they are in your reach – you may be the someone who needs to act.

Take the time to appreciate the people and animals in your life.  Take a moment to notice those around you that need you, reach out, you may be the person that can save one more life today.  Every human touch of kindness counts no matter how small.

Cherry Coley

Touched By An Angel

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Aunt Marlene and Mom

Aunt Marlene and Mom

Tonight I watched “Touched By An Angel.”  I haven’t watched that show in years, but it caught my eye while flipping channels for a moment. 

It was a show about a drug addict that had a baby and Monica and Andrew worked to help her get clean.  Being television it all worked out just in time and just fine on screen.  It really was a good story.  I miss the gentle kindness of the show and inviting it into our lives each night.

I remember so well watching “Touched By An Angel” and “Highway To Heaven” with my mom and dad.  They loved the storyline with angels walking among us, helping and interacting, directing our paths when needed.  My mom thoroughly enjoyed the shows for years.  We would talk about the episode and then how it related to the bible and real life.  Sure, a lot of it was fiction, but it was a good clean show with a heart and you don’t see many of those anymore. 

So tonight, just for a moment, I was touched by another angel.  I felt the presence of my mom come and sit down on the couch beside me and share in a memory.  It was just a moment, but I am thankful for it just the same.  It made me smile and I love memories that do that. 

Take a moment today to remember some of the good memories you’ve shared.  It’s good to appreciate where we come from, it’s better to then live in the moment and enjoy the things we have and the people in our lives.  Life a gift, don’t take it for granted, enjoy every bit of it.

Cherry Coley (c)

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Grief as a Teacher

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photo by Casey Keal

photo by Casey Keal

Grief can play with your mind and your perception of the way events happened.  The tricks of the mind can lead to feelings of regret and guilt, hurt and betrayal, and leave you with a feeling of loss that can drive you to your knees at times.

All week the residual feelings of the grief felt earlier this week have been with me.  I finally got to the point I was asking “what is it I’m supposed to see or learn here?” “What am I missing, and why am I feeling this way?”

By asking these type of questions the feeling of distress is lifted a bit so that I can see what I need see instead of lingering on thoughts of how I wish things had been.  My girls are teenagers and the oldest is getting ready to move on with her life.  She is trying to find her way, changing her mind, debating what she wants, and taking her first steps forward.

Through the other milestones with my kids, my mom has been here.  She was my voice of encouragement, my voice of reason, the person that would laugh at my worrying and say, “karma works.” 

I think of all the times I was out too late at night, talking on the phone and tying up the line (before the age of personal cell phones), trying to find my way and changing my mind, and often driving my mom crazy with my ideas and dreams.

There are days when I feel lost without mom, yet I know her words, her wisdom and her love live on in me.  I will not forget, Mom, I will remember and we will go forward.

Cherry Coley (c)

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Give A Little Love

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100_5605Give a little love, do something nice and spread some cheer every chance you get. 

Like ripples on the water everything thing we do creates an effect on our environment and the people around us.  Yesterday I was feeling rather blue and had several friends that were kind by calling to say they were thinking about me, or texting me to cheer me up.  One of them helped me to see things in a different light as he often does.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who are interested in learning about you and who you are.  People that share some of the same interests, have opposing opinions and aren’t afraid to share them, and people who are just fun to be around.  We all really need a variety of friends to spend time with and keep us on our toes, to offer our support and encouragement, and to share with and learn from.

I have a couple of Eeyore type personality friends that have a sarcastic sense of humor and a realist outlook that borders on gloom, but they are good-natured and I love hearing from them. 

I am thankful for the people in my life.  We are all here to work together and help each other along the way.  Each of us have our unique gifts and talents that make us who we are.  It’s such a thrill to meet someone new and have the time to get to know them.

Cherry Coley (c)

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I Want My Mommy!

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Today I miss my mom.  It’s not that I don’t miss her every day, but today the gaping hole in my chest where my parents used to be was hurting more. 

I had been doing so much better, I was moving forward, getting things done and looking forward to the future and SLAM, grief strikes again.  I hate that. 

Grief has a way of popping up at times and turning the world upside down when you least expect it.  It’s just the way it works unfortunately.  The name of this round of grief is called – “things I wish I’d done differently.”  The worst part of this round was not thinking of the things I would have done differently with my parents, (I went thru that part last year). 

This was about things I wish I’d done differently in other areas of my life, with my ex-husband, my kids, my school days, and all the time I wasted doing stuff that didn’t really matter or turn out the way I wanted in the end. 

My kids are growing up so fast and I still have questions, but no more answers.  There are things that they bring up and do that I don’t know how to approach, so I make suggestions and do research.  I feel inadequate at times, though I know it’s not true. 

If my mom were here she would listen to my worries and insecurities and tell me to “suck it up,” and “karma works,” then smile and even laugh at me because I put her through many of the same issues and how well I remember that. 

The things we thought were so fun as kids – like staying out too late, and talking on the phone all night, are not so funny as a parent.  Life is a circle, that’s for sure.

I am thankful for the time I had with my mom and my dad.  I’m thankful they always had my best interests at heart, even though they didn’t always understand me. 

I am thankful I have two daughters, that remind me that life goes on and sometimes you have to look back to appreciate where you came from before you can go forward. 

Cherry Coley (c)

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Spilled Cookies – New Look Coming Soon!

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Time changes everything.  I have been on a soul-searching path for several years now, last year was a time of grief and rebuilding and that is an ongoing process.  Rewriting your life and changing direction takes time, courage, lots of study, self-evaluation and learning to humble oneself to be open to change itself.

I will be working to change SpilledCookies to go in a new direction as my life is changing as well.  This blog has been a great way to gain insight and self-confidence, to share points of view, to trade ideas and I have enjoyed writing here. 

I am not saying goodbye, but instead saying there are better days ahead!  While I have shared some personal stories here, a lot of my posts are my point of view about different subjects, the new site will hold more of each, plus a new adventure/outreach I will be starting soon.  I hope you will enjoy the new SpilledCookies even more.

Cherry Coley (c)

 

My philosophy for Spilled Cookies still holds true: