life

Challenge Accepted

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It’s been a long while since I took to the written page to share.  It’s way passed time.  I lost both of my parents in 2011, and my world was turned upside down.  Sunset Aug 2019

It took a long while to adjust to the changes that come from being basically alone and truly owning that I am responsible for my own path and every decision that is made.  Growing up I ran decisions by my parents for input and wisdom.  You don’t realize how much you depend on that, until they are gone and that option is no longer available.

Now, 8 years later, I can say that I have come to terms with life and decisions being in my hands.  God is my guide.  My brother and his wife, my kids and my friends are my family.  The future is up to me and what I put into it.  Life up until now has been challenging.  To say that it was a bumpy ride, is like saying the Grand Canyon is a big pothole.   Yet, the sun rises, every day.  Each day is a gift and I take a moment each morning and evening to be grateful to still be here.  I am currently living by the grace of God and the kindness of friends.  I have lost almost everything as far as material possessions.  I must start completely over.  Yet this is exactly where I belong and where I need to be.  The sun is rising.  Opportunity is there and waiting and I am ready.  My mind is open to the new direction before me.

So, if you too are struggling and feeling overwhelmed.  Pray for insight and guidance.  Be prepared for the answers you receive may not be what you expected or even considered, but that is how God and the universe works.  You cannot always choose what happens to you, but you can control your attitude and your response.  Life offers opportunities and lessons, don’t miss them by letting your attitude and busy life get in the way.

The sun will rise again.  The darkness will lift and your path will once again become clear.  Hang on.  Just hang on and pay attention.

Cherry Coley (c)

 

Oh December! You are Almost Here!

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100_5469This year started on a stressful note and has decided to try to end that way as well.  This has been a very challenging time for a lot of people.  2017 has been a year of losing friends and loved one’s.  Yet, there is no path, no time so dark that light cannot break through.

I have thought a lot about mindset and what it means to me.  We have a choice on how we look at things and how we respond.  Never forget you have this choice, it is yours alone.  Me?  I am a spiritual being on a physical journey.  Knowing that helps me get through the tough times.  Everything in this life is temporary, both good and bad.  Knowing that keeps things tolerable and enjoyable.  Keep your head up through the tough times and realize that no matter what difficulty you are facing, it’s temporary.  Take time for the good things.  More importantly, take time to notice the good.

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the struggle we forget to appreciate the sunrise or sunset.  We forget to notice that gentle breeze, or the color of the leaves this time of year.  Oh to absorb even a part of the excitement a dog feels when he see’s you walking toward him again.  Whether it’s been 5 minutes or 5 days, that dog doesn’t care.  They are ready to run around, wag their tail, bark, and show you how excited they are that you are there with them.

Take a moment to breathe.  Take a moment to be thankful.  You are still here.  You still have a purpose and as long as you don’t quit, there is still time, still hope.  December is going to be a good month.

Cherry Coley (c)

The Draw of Netflix

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I confess over the last year I discovered Netflix.  You know that feeling when you settle down to watch “a little” television then realize several hours have passed.  It’s addicting and I hear it call to me at times.

As a single mom struggling to stretch funds as far as possible, our little family went years without cable.  So signing up for Netflix has led to the discovery of many series that I had not ever watched, but had heard others talking about at work.  It also led to going back and watching childhood favorites and getting to watch the entire series of some shows where I had missed many episodes.  At first this seemed great!  We could finally catch up and know what others know and understand references to shows that we now had seen as well.

However, (you knew that was coming) Netflix, while wonderful when you have a cold or just need a break, is also very addicting.  Why?  I’ve watched some series more than once and then wondered why I was sitting and watching something I’d already seen.  Why am I spending my valuable time watching other people?  The answer is that Netflix fills a hunger, a void.  It can be entertaining when there is nothing you want to watch on regular cable or television.  It can be funny, horrifying, mind boggling, informative, or sad depending on what you choose.  In essence, Netflix is like a visual book.  What?   Yep, I said that right, Netflix, Hulu, HBO, all those streaming services are like a visual book.

Why are we so drawn to watch series on Netflix?  Is it because we are spoiled and want to watch the entire thing without the break from week to week like we get on television?  Partially, but mostly I think the essence of binge watching is caused by the need to feed your mind an ongoing story.  We get more attached to the stories when we watch them in succession.  The characters pull us in closer, we crave more until we reach the end and then, there is that same feeling as when you put down a good book, a good story, and it’s ended.  We are a little sad that our time with the characters is done.  Sometimes a little upset because it didn’t end the way we thought it would.  It’s the same.  What do you do if you want more?  You either pick another book – or series, or you go back to revisit or reread so you can be in that world a little longer.  This is why Netflix and Hulu, etc. are so popular.   So why not choose to read instead?  The imagination is so much more adept and better equipped to create that fantastic world the writer has in store for us than pictures and actors on the screen.  We say we don’t have time to read.  That’s not true.  There’s always time to read.  Reading is portable.  Oh, I know, with smart phones, tablets, watches and gizmo’s the shows we watch are also more and more portable every day.

So, it’s up to you.  You don’t have to choose one or the other, but it would be beneficial to switch things up at times.  Remind yourself of how much fun reading is.  How nice it is to let your mind be linked to another creative mind through the magic of pages for awhile.  You can read outside and decide to put the book down and take a walk.  Something that doesn’t really occur to you when you’re inside binge watching.  You choose.  Aren’t we all connected and stuck with taking in someone else’s interpretation of what they perceived something to be enough?  Take some time to do things to exercise your imagination.  Get lost in a good book and let your mind wander and explore.

Cherry Coley (c)

 

 

 

 

 

Life is about Choices

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Life is about choices.  Oh, I know we’ve all heard that before and we all know it’s true; the question is how true is it?

I have had to battle the demons from my past the last few days.  Those memories that haunt and an attitude that wants to settle around me like a dark cloud and seep into my skin to become a part of me again. 

A close friend of mine told me that I should stop writing positive drivel and write about a lot of the crap that I’ve experienced along the way.  I told him that no one would believe all the stuff I’ve been through, not that it didn’t happen, but that there is so much of it.  Truly, most people experience one or two major mishaps in life if they are unlucky enough, but I’ve had so many that even I sit and shake my head in wonder at why I am still here at times.

He also told me that I have a great talent for description and that if I have something to say then just say it.  Well, okay, but I will do it my way, not yours. 

For the last few days and especially last night, the darkness tried really hard to reassert its self and last night I went to bed feeling like I was losing the battle, that I had failed and should just write everything that happened, reliving it all in vivid detail as I did.  I had nightmares all night.

The thing is, while I was experiencing living with an abusive, narcissistic, sociopath and that was after being in a rather odd relationship with another one previously, I had become a ghost like reflection of who I once was.  In those years I was just a shell of a person functioning on the outside, putting up a good front so that things would seem normal to those who looked on. 

I still had a positive attitude even then, though I struggled with it and it was only surface deep.  I still believed in better days and that the sun would shine.  

In talking to my friend something defensive in me woke up.  It wasn’t a whimpering, sad shadow either.  He kept asking me how I could be so positive after so much.  My unwavering answer is because NO ONE CONTROLS ME!  No one controls my attitude and my outlook except ME! 

Whatever the world and life throws your way, you CAN come out stronger, better, but it’s a choice.  You have the power to CHOOSE how you apply the events and mishaps in your life.  You can learn from them and become stronger, or you can let them take you down, dwelling on them, feeling anger, revenge, helplessness, and relive them over and over.  I choose to learn, to get up and to keep going.  I choose to believe there’s more that life has to teach and offer.

I don’t just think the sun will shine again and that better days will eventually be here….I KNOW. 

For me, it’s no longer faith as much as it’s experience.  When you’re up against that cliff and there’s nothing to do but to step off the ledge, you can be sure that God is going to catch you, or teach you to fly.  The thing is that in order to go forward, you do have to move, faith is grown by action, not waiting and life is about choices.

Cherry Coley (c)

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This Journey is Not Easy

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Love is not just seeing a person as they are and accepting them, 

Photo by Cherry Coley

Love is seeing the potential of what they can be.

 How many times have we seen celebrities in the news? The reporters frantically reporting their success and splashing their faces and lives across front pages and television screens over and over. Their names become household words, the kids start wanting to dress like them, suddenly there are perfumes, posters, haircuts, diets and clothing named after them. Then…they show us they are human and screw up.

Down they fall from the pedestal that we put them on. There is no forgiveness, only mockery and finger pointing. How dare they be a bad role model!! How dare they make bad choices that lead to bad press!  How dare they not live up to the image that has been imposed on them!

 Never confuse talent and what someone does for who they are. This can be, and often is, two completely different things.

Now stop and think of the people in your everyday life.  I always try to accept people as they are. I stand in judgment of no one, for who am I to judge? I too am human and I have made some fabulous crash and burn mistakes along the way. Yet, accepting someone for who they are is only part of loving a person. To love is to see who they could be. To encourage and embrace the person they are becoming along the way, to walk along side that person on their journey of self discovery. To cheer when you can and cry with them when needed, and forgive the mistakes we each make as needed.

 Life really is a journey, but it’s not an easy one and it was never a road meant to be traveled alone. Remember those that are walking with you, the people you love, that are in your every day life. When the road is hard, we lean on each other…..it’s what we’re here for.

Thank you for walking with me.