02 | May | 2012 | SpilledCookies

My mom was crocheting a tablecloth. It was a project she started about two years ago or so. She had crocheted a tablecloth for my brother and his wife and asked if I wanted one. I said yes, but not the same pattern.

The pattern we chose was called Cathedral Window. She kept telling me over and over through all the time she was working on it that she didn’t think she would live to see it finished. She had a terrible time with gout and arthritis, but she worked on it whenever she could. I told her if it was too hard, then don’t worry, but she wouldn’t hear of it, she was determined.

Truthfully, I think it was finished, but she loved the pattern and the challenge, so she kept on working on it. So, technically she was right, because she was in the middle of a row and so it wasn’t really finished when she passed away. I am unsure what to do with it. Should I try to finish it? Should I leave it as it is and put it in a display case? Should I have the last row removed and a border put around it to complete it? I just don’t know.

I love it, but it makes me sad because it was on her lap, she had been working on it when she left us. For now I am going to gently pack it and preserve it for when I can look at it with a clear thought process and perhaps a heart a little more healed before I decide what to do.

I miss you, Mom.

Simplify. “Keep it simple” is something I tell myself quiet often and it is the way I want to live. I realized last night that I have been feeling somewhat out of sorts because I have strayed a bit from doing two things that are vital to my well-being. Those two things are keeping it simple, and meditation.

I look around my cluttered (still in the process of unpacking and sorting) house and realize I have been emotionally unpacking and sorting which is not a good thing to do. I have boxes that came from my parents’ house with my mom’s china, some crystal, dishes, blankets, baby clothes and shoes, pictures galore, but going through all of that is making the whole process really slow.

My parents were the type of people that saved everything because you might need it later. In their defense, they grew up in the Great Depression Era where most people had little or no possessions and you simply didn’t throw anything away because there might not be a way to replace it. I get it.

No one should ever keep everything. I am speaking to myself as well as all those people who get emotionally attached to things. I’ve been there, you pick up souvenirs with family, friends on an outing of some kind and it becomes your link to memories and good feelings. You become emotionally attached. There’s nothing wrong with souvenirs so please don’t think I’m saying that, but if you collect and collect and collect then pretty soon you are building new bookshelves to hold the nick knacks, filling up the garage, and even renting extra storage space to hold it all.

I grew up in a house with people who loved to buy treasures and keep them, now as a result, there are a LOT of treasures to go through. One thing sorting so much “stuff” will do is make you realize, there’s really no rational reason to keep all the “stuff.” No one needs that much stuff. You can’t use it all, can’t look at it all, it’s taking up space, and can you really enjoy it if you suddenly find you can’t really clean up because there’s no space to put things? Sorry we can’t have people over, the house is a mess.

Keep it simple, is what I’ve come to repeat to myself a lot lately. If it’s not useful, hasn’t been used in X number of months (for me it’s now 3 months), and doesn’t add beauty to the home, then it needs to go. This sounds easy doesn’t it? It’s not always easy because of emotional attachment. Luckily we have something that will make letting go easier – photographs.

Photos are easily accessible, can be stored in a number of different ways now including: on-line, CD’s, Flash Drives, and of course printed out. They don’t HAVE to take up any room at all AND they can be easily shared with any number of people.

Tonight I’m going through again and sorting the “letting go” areas of our lives. We have a lot of old Barbie’s and Brat dolls to donate among other things. Other children will enjoy them, and those toy chests can be used to store extra blankets or other items we use. Yes, we might take pictures of the toys because memories are memories and photos help to remind us.